Consensual Non-Monogamy & Polyamorous Therapy in Sacramento
In person in Midtown Sacramento & Online Throughout California
Are You Considering Opening Up Your Relationship?
- Have you and your partner been exploring consensual non-monogamy?
- Is one of you more enthusiastic about the idea, while the other has some reservations or feels triggered by it?
- Are you grappling with feelings of shame or fear surrounding coming out to friends and family?
Maybe you and your partner are interested in polyamory but feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. After all, when you decide to open up your relationship to other people, there’s a lot to consider.
Unlike conventional monogamy, which views fidelity as iron-clad, consensual non-monogamy (CNM) can take many different forms, depending on what you are each comfortable with. But even more pressing than the “rules” you establish, the emotions that commonly surface when taking this step can be challenging.
You May Be Surprised By The Emotions Coming Up For You
Despite being open to the idea of polyamory in theory—having had all the conversations, read all the books, and asked all the hypotheticals about how CNM will work—in practice, you may be surprised by how you respond to a given situation. Perhaps intense reactivity, characterized by feelings of jealousy, panic, and possessiveness, is causing you to feel insecure and behave in ways that go against your values. Maybe CNM has triggered internalized shame about breaching the moral code you were raised to follow, or fear over how this transition will impact your relationship with friends, family, and colleagues.
Polyamorous therapy provides a safe forum to discuss the implications of CNM in depth and work through the emotions that often arise when deciding to open up your relationship. Having a therapist you can turn to for emotional support and guidance ensures you can make the transition to polyamory as seamless as possible.
Stigmas Surrounding Consensual Non-Monogamy Persist In Our Culture
Sadly, The Therapeutic Setting Is Not Immune To CNM Prejudice
Within the mental health sphere, clinicians have also been known to pathologize CNM and discriminate against clients in open relationships. The “gold standard” modalities established with couples in mind assume monogamy to be a given. Leaders in the field of couples therapy view CNM as a failure in the relationship, attributed to attachment injury or a last-ditch effort to fix the relationship.
The good news is that the therapists at Love Heal Grow are polyamory-friendly and can help support consensual non-monogamy in your relationship. By offering a warm and welcoming space to explore CNM, we can help your relationship move forward.
Therapy Can Help You Navigate A Mutually Beneficial Polyamorous Lifestyle With Your Partner
If the idea of consensual non-monogamy interests you but you don’t know where to start, polyamorous therapy offers a place to examine your thoughts, feelings, and desires as well as those of your partner.
Working with a therapist ensures you will consider all aspects of how CNM will alter your relationship and work through emotions within a safe and supportive environment.
When attending polyamorous therapy at Love Heal Grow, you can be assured that judgment will be left at the door and that sessions will be a safe space to discuss the challenges you’re experiencing. Your therapist understands the emotional nuances of navigating an open relationship and can help you on your journey, meeting you wherever you are.
What To Expect In Sessions
The Modalities We Include In Polyamorous Couples Counseling
Oftentimes, the introduction of CNM into a previously monogamous relationship shakes up clearly established attachment bonds, unearthing insecurities and unmet needs neither of you realized you had. Incorporating attachment-based practices and modalities into polyamory therapy—such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), the Gottman Method, and the Developmental Model of Couples therapy—can help you bridge any divide you may experience.
Additionally, embarking on CNM can bring up the internalized stigma of going against deeply embedded Christian values. In therapy, we can explore whether you’re feeling this way because you believe it or due to it being impressed upon you growing up.
Relationships are not one-size-fits-all. There are many different ways a loving and committed partnership can look.
If you’re transitioning from a monogamous to a polyamorous relationship, it is normal to experience difficulties, even if you’re both in agreement about making a change in the relationship. A polyamory-friendly therapist can support you in building a relationship that honors your unique feelings, desires, and preferences.
But Maybe You’re Not Sure If Polyamorous Therapy Is Right For You…
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Our previous experience in polyamory therapy didn’t go well.
Unfortunately, many therapists in the field are biased against consensual non-monogamy. At Love Heal Grow, celebrating gender, sexuality, and relationship diversity is one of our primary values. Here, you will be supported by a polyamory-friendly therapist, ensuring you can explore your unique relationship needs and desires without judgment, shame, or needing to explain yourself.
How much experience does the staff at Love Heal Grow have with polyamorous counseling?
Most of our clinicians have worked with folks in non-traditional relationships. Additionally, every therapist on staff participates in specialized training and consultation to effectively support our clients seeking diverse relationships or who currently practice CNM. Although we seek out education proactively, we also acknowledge the diversity within our community and approach every client as an individual with unique needs and backgrounds.
We worry that in couples therapy, polyamory will be viewed as the source of the problem.
Understandably, cultural stigmas surrounding non-monogamy may perpetuate the fear that counseling will take a negative view of polyamory, concluding it’s simply a last-ditch effort to save your relationship. Our therapists do a great deal of work around examining bias and take a client-centered approach that honors you as the ultimate expert of your own life and experiences.
Learning and healing happen when you’re able to go deeper and explore the painful stuff that seldom gets talked about. Being open and honest with each other will help you overcome issues, foster love for one another, and create a more secure and stable environment for your kids.
Safely Explore Consensual Non-Monogamy With Us
With support and guidance tailored to your needs, a non-monogamous relationship where each of you feels secure and fulfilled is possible. To find out more about in-person or online polyamorous therapy with us, please visit our contact page.
Love Heal Grow Therapists:
Amber Westbrook, ACSW (she/her)
Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)
Melanie Rivera, AMFT (she/her)
Madison Hamzy, LMFT (she/her)
Larissa Manalansan, AMFT (she/her)
Emily Alampi, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)
Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)
Maegan Tanner, LMFT (she/her)
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Consensual Non-Monogamy & Polyamorous In Sacramento
2430 K St, Sacramento, CA 95816
