You and your partner have a pretty strong relationship.
You can talk about most things, you handle conflict without blowing up at each other, and you support each other’s hopes and dreams.
There’s trust in the relationship and you feel comfortable opening up about anything…
There’s an elephant in the room, though.
An elephant wearing lingerie.
Your sex life isn’t where either of you want it and you just don’t know how to talk about it.
Because it feels so…awkward.
You want to feel more comfortable and confident with sex, but the topic leaves you feeling embarrassed and you end up avoiding it all together.
The thing is many of us received messages growing up that affect the way we see sex.
We might think of it as a bad/shameful thing (it’s not), or a taboo thing (it shouldn’t be), or we have expectations about what sex “should” be like and we’re afraid we’re not “normal” (you probably are).
Or maybe you thought you were comfortable in your sexuality and then something changed in your relationship: your libido changed, you or or your partner started having sexual difficulties, there were health/stress issues, or infertility/pregnancy issues impacted your sex life—and it’s just stayed stuck.
Sex counseling and education can help you and your partner get the sex life you want. Sex issues in relationships are so common, but if you feel uncomfortable even talking about things with your partner you might need some support in figuring out where to start.
I love helping people get more comfortable and confident in their sexuality and I’ve been brainstorming ways to help couples with their sex lives before they end up on the therapist’s couch.
To help me with this, I just launched a survey so that I can learn from as many people as possible about what they would change about their sex life if they could.
If anything in this post sounds like you—I want to hear from you!
Need help now? Reach out to me to see if sex counseling might be right for you. Or keep checking back at this blog for tips, links to resources and other support.