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When Body Insecurities Affect Your Sex Life

  A couple sits in my office.  One partner is sad and frustrated that the other doesn't seem to be interested in sex anymore.  They are feeling very rejected.   The other partner says quietly, eyes looking down, "Honestly, it's not about you.  I don't like my body. ...

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Erectile Dysfunction: Sex Therapy Can Help

  Here at Love Heal Grow Counseling, we are contacted multiple times a week by men who are experiencing erectile dysfunction (ED).  Sometimes it's been going on for years, sometimes they thought the issues were behind them only to be caught off guard by more problems...

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Women & Low Sexual Desire – Sex Therapy

Myth: Women are less sexual than men.   Myth: Women lose all interest in sex after marriage or as they get older.   Myth: If you don't get turned on easily or often, you don't enjoy or care about sex as much as someone who does.   Women who have a low desire for...

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Why Emotions are So Important

   Emotions aren't just touchy-feely fluff.  We need to take the time to express our emotions and to validate our partner's emotions because this is what connects us as human beings.  When we let ourselves better understand each other's emotions, we'll feel close...

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Accepting Our Partner’s Corrections

   When we take a chance in guessing how our partner is feeling, we might get it wrong--that's okay!  If our partner corrects us, accept this graciously and take their correction to better understand how they are truly feeling.    ...

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Showing Our Partner We Understand Them

 Our partner will feel heard and understood when we take time to show them what exactly it is we are understanding. It can be as simple as mirroring back a summary of what they have shared or--even more meaningful--we can acknowledge their most important feelings...

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Putting Ourself in Their Shoes

   You know your partner best, so you have the best ability to listen to them and really imagine how they are feeling.  Let your own knowledge about the type of person that they are, what is most important to them, what they have been going through and how they have...

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Listening With Strong Interest & Putting Our Stuff on Hold

   When our partner is talking to us about something important, we have our own reactions going on inside (thoughts, opinions, feelings and advice).  If we want our partner to feel supported when they are opening up, we can put our own stuff on hold in order to focus...

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Body Language Matters!

 Today we're talking about body language and how it can help or hurt your relationship. Do you know what signals you are sending when you and your partner are talking? How are we helping or hurting the conversation with the signals we are sending? We are so in tune...

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When Everything’s Good, but Sex is Awkward

You and your partner have a pretty strong relationship. You can talk about most things, you handle conflict without blowing up at each other, and you support each other’s hopes and dreams. There’s trust in the relationship and you feel comfortable opening up about...

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Why Your Arguments are Going Nowhere

Every now and then a couple comes to me saying things like: -“We have a really strong relationship.” -“We usually communicate really well.” -“We just have this one problem that we can’t work through—can you help us?!”   Committed couples make a lot of decisions...

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Why “The Pina Colada Song” Makes Me Cry

You know the song Escape by Rupert Holmes?   If you like pina coladas…and getting caught in the rain… I had always thought of it as a fun, cheesy summer time song that would pop up on the oldies station.  I hadn’t ever really paid attention to the lyrics.   But then a...

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One Month to More Connection in Your Relationship

31 discussion topics to get you on the road to better intimacy. One way we build intimacy and connection is to be able to share important/deeper parts of ourselves with our partner and for them to be able to truly hear us when we do. This exercise can be done daily...

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Office Tour on Fresh Practice Design

This week, my midtown Sacramento office was featured on Fresh Practice Design.  Fresh Practice Design lets you peak into therapists' offices across the country.  I am a regular reader--I love seeing the diverse decor choices and hearing from therapists about the...

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Indecisiveness: Get Unstuck by Taking Action

I was listening to a TED Talk a few months ago about decision-making. With the heaps of information and options available to us on a day-to-day basis, we can get paralyzed by indecisiveness as we look to make the “perfect” or “right” decision. Aziz Ansari shares often...

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10 Reasons to Start Couples Counseling

Leading couples researcher and therapist, John Gottman, PhD has found that the average couple waits 6 years before seeking help for marital problems.  That is a long time to be unhappy in a relationship!  If you are considering starting therapy to improve your...

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