Anxiety is Not Really the Problem

by

self care as a gift

Surprisingly, if you are struggling with anxiety, or even an anxiety disorder, such as OCD, generalized anxiety, panic, etc., as hard as this is to believe, it’s not really the anxiety that’s the problem. It’s the intolerance of anxiety that’s causing the problems. The fear of anxiety, the desperate efforts to avoid it and all the attempts to vanquish it from your life are likely to cause far more distress than the actual anxiety itself.

As humans, anxiety is always going to be our companion–like a nervous passenger, riding in the back seat, pointing out all the dangers and telling you how to drive. When I’m working with clients troubled by anxiety, my primary goal is not to get rid of or even decrease their anxiety. My goal is to increase their tolerance for anxiety and help them to be less reactive to its rantings.

Anxiety is basically our reaction to a potential threat, a crisis, an urgent problem that must be solved. So then, what happens when anxiety is perceived as a crisis, a threat or an urgent problem that must be solved? We react to anxiety with more anxiety and that’s what causes the escalation and even panic that seems to take on a life of its own.

What we can do to reduce anxiety may seem counter-intuitive, but really works. We can stop trying to get rid of the anxiety, we can stop listening to it and begin to treat it as a neutral event. That doesn’t mean it feels good or even feels neutral or solves the original problem that brought on the anxiety. It just turns anxiety from a crisis into an unpleasant sensation that will run its course. And then, when anxiety is no longer activating another anxiety response, it just naturally becomes less intense.

If you are ready to get support on managing your anxiety, schedule an appointment with me today.

Linda Rolufs best therapists sacramento california

Hi, I’m Linda Rolufs, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.

I help individuals and couples respond to their painful experiences and emotions in ways that bring them freedom and closeness to themselves and others.

You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Linda

Love Heal Grow Therapists
Filter & Find Your Match

Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST Founder (she/her)

Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST Founder (she/her)

CEO & Founder | 450 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Relationship Trauma, Emotional & Physical Intimacy, Executives & Creatives
Madison Hamzy, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Madison Hamzy, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist & Assistant Director | 250 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Intimate Connection & Less Stress, Men with ED or ADHD, People who get stuck in their heads and worry a lot
Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)

Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, More Pleasurable Sex, Men learning to express feelings, CNM & Kink, Queer & Trans
Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Abuse & Betrayal, Queer & Trans Identity, People who care deeply and are told they are "too much"
Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 250 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Grief & Loss, Childhood Emotional Neglect, Family Therapy for Parents & Adult Children
Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 270 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Infidelity, Discernment & Divorce, Workplace Stress & Pressure
Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 240 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Anxiety & OCD, Menopausal and post-menopausal women wanting more pleasure in sex, Women who feel invisible
Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, High-Achievers & Type-A Personalities, Intimacy & Connection, Low Self Esteem, Trauma & Anxiety
Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Parenting Couples, Cycle-breaking Moms, Deep Thinkers & Deep Feelers
Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Stress & Burnout, LGBTQ+, People who judge themselves a lot
Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

IFS Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimacy, LGBTQ+, Folks wanting to go deep in their trauma work
Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Anxiety & Stress, Frustration & Anger, Queer & Trans, Neurodivergence, People who feel like they don't fit in
Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Emotional & Physical Connection, Stress & Burnout in Highly Productive People, Existential Angst & Life Meaning
Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Burnout & Pressure to be Successful, Immigrants & First Gen, Current & Former Athletes, People who Avoid Conflict
Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

Sex Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, QTBIPOC, More Pleasure in Sex, CNM & Kink Affirming, People worried about their porn-use & sexual behaviors
Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

Trauma Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Survivors of Trauma: Sexual Assault & Relationship Abuse; People who have been hurt by loved ones; People who question themselves a lot
Samaria Parada, AMFT (she/ella)

Samaria Parada, AMFT (she/ella)

Bilingual Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Connection, Family & Cultural Stress & Trauma, BIPOC & First Gen
Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimacy, Betrayal & Infidelity, Couples with age gaps, Creatives & Sensitive People
Ella Sword, AMFT (she/her)

Ella Sword, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Connection, Parenting, Anxiety & Depression
Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

Trauma Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Trauma - Relationship Abuse, Violence, and Sexual Assault, Love after Trauma
Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimate Connection, Anxiety-Depression-Anger, LGBTQ+, Religious Trauma & Grief
Ashlene Kaur Sandhu (she/her)

Ashlene Kaur Sandhu (she/her)

Therapist | Sliding Scale (100-140 per session) | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Connection & Intimacy, Perfectionism & Low Self-Esteem, Cultural Pressure & Relationship with Parents
Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)

Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)

Therapist | 240 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Disconnected & Bickering Couples, Depleted & Exhausted Working Moms, Low Self Esteem, Trauma & Anxiety
Love Heal Grow Relationship Therapy Center Sacramento

Free Relationship Therapy Starter Pack

*How to Find a Therapist

*What to Expect in Your First Appointment

*How to Get the Most Out of Therapy

*How to talk to your boss about going to therapy during the workday

*How to seek reimbursement for therapy from your PPO plan

*Over twenty pages of relationship and life stressor tips and exercises that it would usually take 10+ therapy sessions to cover.

Check your email!