Emotionally Focused Therapy
Sacramento
In person in Midtown Sacramento & Online Throughout California
What Is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)?
Many couples who go to therapy hoping to restore their emotional connection don’t experience the results they’d hoped for. Although they may have entered counseling committed to resolving conflicts and improving intimacy, they often decide to stop going after they realize they’re not making meaningful progress.
Perhaps when their therapist gave them communication skills to practice at home, they weren’t helpful. Instead, they continued to have the same old arguments, getting stuck in familiar patterns of disconnection over and over again.
Inevitably, one partner always ends up criticizing the other or getting triggered by the same things while the other shuts down or dismisses their partner’s concerns. As they become trapped in this repetitive cycle of conflict, each partner is left feeling isolated, unheard, and inadequate in the eyes of the other.
What couples need is an emotionally focused approach to therapy that digs deeper, allowing them to understand and connect with what really lies beneath their superficial arguments.
Informed by the principles of attachment theory, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps you recognize the underlying fears and wounds that show up in your relationship with your partner. By fostering mutual empathy and a deeper understanding of what each of you needs to feel safe and secure, EFT therapy builds a bridge of connection.
How Emotionally Focused Therapy Works
Emotionally Focused Therapy understands that human beings have emotional needs that can only be met by their primary relationships. To feel safe and taken care of in childhood, we need our caregiver to be there for us consistently. Secure attachment means we feel like we matter and trust that our caregivers will be there for us when we’re hurting.
As adults, these same needs carry into our romantic relationships. As the person closest to us, we need to know our partners care deeply about us, and vice versa. However, if our emotional needs—or those of our partner—weren’t met by caregivers, we may bring ineffective ways of coping into the relationship, such as avoidance, people-pleasing, blaming, shutting down, or defensiveness.
What’s Really Going On Beneath The Surface?
In EFT sessions, your therapist will guide your back-and-forth communication, helping you discover what unexpressed emotions are prompting conflict and disconnection. When you argue, you’re likely not emotionally wounded by your partner for failing to unload the dishwasher or forgetting an important date. The underlying hurt playing out in your arguments is fueled by the abandonment you feel when your partner isn’t attuned to your needs.
In this way, Emotionally Focused Therapy helps you see your partner with fresh eyes—as someone who wants to be loved by you, even when it comes out in ways that make you feel unheard, attacked, or invalidated. Although conflict hurts sometimes, rest assured your therapist will be there to help you arrive at a place of compassion and connection you never thought possible.
Throughout EFT therapy, your counselor takes special care to respect your unique communication styles, ensuring that you both engage in active listening and are given equal space to honestly express how you feel. By providing a safe place where healing is possible, EFT helps you break down walls and discover newfound empathy.
Who Can Benefit From EFT Counseling?
Couples well-suited to emotionally focused therapy are ready to embark on a deeper exploration of what’s buried beneath the surface and reveal what may drive ongoing conflict, communication problems, betrayal, lack of sexual intimacy, and emotional disconnection. They are eager to feel loved by their partner again and regain the trust that may have been broken. If you or your partner has a history of trauma or poor attachment, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can also be customized for individuals and families.
The effectiveness of Emotionally Focused Therapy has been widely researched and well documented, making EFT the gold standard for evidence-based marriage counseling. As reported by the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT), “EFT has a body of process research showing that change does indeed occur in the way that the theory suggests.”
When compared to approaches that only offer conflict resolution skills to practice at home, EFT therapy is more effective because it focuses on what makes us feel safe in the relationship. Sessions enable you to finally feel understood and safe with emotions, not just your own but your partner’s, too. Instead of trying to “act” differently by using the “correct” communication skills, Emotionally Focused Therapy helps positively shift the dynamics of your relationship from the inside out.
Why We Love Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Attachment science and EFT therapy are foundational to our mission. Our founder, Megan Negendank, completed EFT training for couples over a decade ago. After witnessing the lasting change EFT had on her clients firsthand, she decided to found Love Heal Grow to provide that transformative healing to thousands of couples in her community. Each of our therapists is trained in EFT, receiving ongoing monthly refreshers and mentorship to ensure they are well-equipped to address any challenge that may arise.
Instead of shying away from emotions in the therapy room, through EFT, we aren’t afraid to explore conflict safely. This allows us to bring unspoken emotions to the surface, fostering understanding and healing more quickly and effectively than other couples therapy. With the benefits of EFT, you can:
Find Out How EFT For Couples Can Help You
Learning how to connect with your partner on a deeper level can change everything. To find out more about emotionally focused therapy, please visit our contact page.
Love Heal Grow Therapists:
Melanie Rivera, AMFT (she/her)
Jamie Silva, AMFT (she/her)
Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)
Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)
Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)
Amber Westbrook, ACSW (she/her)
Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)
Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)
Emotionally Focused Therapy Blogs
What Makes Emotionally Focused Therapy So Effective for Relationships?
When relationships hit rough patches, couples often find themselves stuck in repeating arguments that leave them feeling disconnected from their partner and hopeless about their future together. While there are many approaches to couples therapy, one model that has...
Emotionally Focused Therapy In Sacramento
2430 K St, Sacramento, CA 95816
