Blog

 Our partner will feel heard and understood when we take time to show them what exactly it is we are understanding. It can be as simple as mirroring back a summary of what they have shared or--even more meaningful--we can acknowledge their most important feelings...

   You know your partner best, so you have the best ability to listen to them and really imagine how they are feeling.  Let your own knowledge about the type of person that they are, what is most important to them, what they have been going through and how they...

   When our partner is talking to us about something important, we have our own reactions going on inside (thoughts, opinions, feelings and advice).  If we want our partner to feel supported when they are opening up, we can put our own stuff on hold in order to...

   Research shows that we can soothe our partner with handholding comfort and that we communicate contempt through a certain facial expression. These two body language cues are so important to be aware of when we want to work on connection in the relationship....

I might not have a magic wand to fix all relationships--but I do have a simple skill that we can use in any area of our life to feel closer to others. This set of videos will break down how we can show EMPATHY in communication. It's simple (but not easy) and it is a...

You and your partner have a pretty strong relationship. You can talk about most things, you handle conflict without blowing up at each other, and you support each other’s hopes and dreams. There’s trust in the relationship and you feel comfortable opening up about...

You know the song Escape by Rupert Holmes?   If you like pina coladas…and getting caught in the rain… I had always thought of it as a fun, cheesy summer time song that would pop up on the oldies station.  I hadn’t ever really paid attention to the lyrics.  ...

This week, my midtown Sacramento office was featured on Fresh Practice Design.  Fresh Practice Design lets you peak into therapists' offices across the country.  I am a regular reader--I love seeing the diverse decor choices and hearing from therapists about the...

Are you having trouble sleeping? Are racing thoughts keeping you up? Do you just want to tell your brain to shut up and give you a break already? You might be worried about something coming up on the horizon, thinking through different scenarios and hoping things turn...

Adulting is Hard. Making-friends-in-a-new-city-while-adulting can be harder. A friend and I were chatting over coffee about the growth in Sacramento as twenty- and thirty-somethings have begun to look for more affordable, but still hip cities to put down roots. Having...

Hot take: I'm not a huge fan of this famous relationship self-help book. Whaaaaat?  Yep.  I said it. I do think it's helpful--and necessary in most cases--to communicate to your partner when and how to show you love, but I don't think these actions alone are going to...

Many of the people who contact me haven't been in therapy before.  Maybe they have some friends who have opened up about their counseling experiences or maybe their only frame of reference is glimpses into therapy sessions on tv or in the movies -- which let me tell...

“Can you fix me?” It’s happened many times. A new client comes in for their first appointment. They’ve read my website, we’ve talked briefly on the phone, and after going over the questions that help me learn more about you in the first session—they take a deep sigh,...

Conflict in relationships is inevitable. Your partner continues to show up late for date night. Or maybe they made a big purchase on your joint account without consulting you. No matter how much love and understanding there is in our relationships, our partners can do...