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1 Month to More Connection

31 discussion topics to get you on the road to better intimacy.

One way we build intimacy and connection is to be able to share important/deeper parts of ourselves with our partner and for them to be able to truly hear us when we do.

This exercise can be done daily over the course of the month to increase connection and intimacy.

Each partner takes a turn sharing about the day’s topic.

While your partner is sharing:

  • Listen to what they share and repeat back what you heard them say to show them that you are listening.
    • example: “Your favorite memory of our relationship was our honeymoon because we were able to relax, see new things and talk about our future.”
  • Ask them if you heard right and if there is anything more they want to add.
    • example: “Did I get that right? Is there anything more you want to share?”
  • Validate what they shared.
    • example: You make sense to me because I know you love when we can do new things together and we felt so close, connected and excited on that vacation.”
  • Show empathy.
    • example: “I can imagine you felt really loved and relaxed on that vacation.”

31 Topics for a Month of Connection

  1. Something I appreciate about you is…
  2. Something I like about us as a couple is…
  3. A positive about today was…
  4. A negative about today was…
  5. If I won the lottery, I would buy you….
  6. If I won the lottery, I would buy myself….
  7. One of my fondest childhood memories is…
  8. A favorite past time or toy in my childhood was…
  9. I felt hurt/disappointed as a child when…
  10. When I felt sad as a child, I would…
  11. Something you do that helps me feel close to you is…
  12. Growing up, one thing I liked about my mom was…
  13. One thing that I disliked about my mom was…
  14. Growing up, one thing I liked about my dad was…
  15. One thing I disliked about my dad was…
  16. A special memory from our relationship is the time…
  17. A way you can help me stay calm during or bring up difficult talks is…
  18. A way I can help myself stay calm during or bring up difficult talks is…
  19. I love it when we…
  20. When this (share a positive thing) happens in our relationship, I feel…
  21. If I could change anything about myself, one thing I would change would be…
  22. One thing I like about you is…
  23. One thing I’d like to see more of in our relationship is…
  24. Some thoughts/feelings I’ve had about having these talks are…
  25. Something I sometimes criticize in you but also do in myself is…
  26. Intimacy to me is…
  27. A way I think we could be more intimate is…
  28. Three things I find very romantic are..
  29. The biggest challenge in my life has been…
  30. What I have learned from this exercise is…
  31. In the future, I hope we…