You know the song Escape by Rupert Holmes?

If you like pina coladas…and getting caught in the rain…

I had always thought of it as a fun, cheesy summer time song that would pop up on the oldies station.  I hadn’t ever really paid attention to the lyrics.

But then a few years ago, I was driving around with my husband and the song came on and I listened a littler closer.  If you need a refresher, the song is sung by a man in a (presumably) committed relationship who reads a personal ad (while his lady is sleeping nearby) and then… RESPONDS to it… setting up a date with another woman.

“WHAT A JERK!”  I thought…

Until the next verse when it is revealed that the personal ad was written by his partner and she’s the one who turns up at the date.  TWIST!

They were both dreaming of connecting with a partner who “gets them” and wants the same fun in life—they had no idea that the person sleeping next to them already fit that description.

I’m not going to lie, even typing this I’m getting a little teary-eyed thinking about how so many couples feel dissatisfied in their relationships, but may just be overlooking shared interests and longings that can bring them closer.

I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long
Like a worn out recording of a favorite song

Often when couples come to me for therapy, they have been struggling with disconnection, communication problems and frustrations in the relationship for a long time.  They feel worn out and stuck; focused on their negative beliefs about their partner and relationship.

But I see two people longing for connection, but who feel closed off from each other. In therapy, we take the time to remove the blocks, misunderstandings, and past hurts…so that the couple can rediscover the love and joy in their relationship.

So I waited with high hopes and she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady and she said, “oh, it’s you.”
Then we laughed for a moment and I said, “I never knew.”

It’s a happy ending for the couple in the song. And every time I hear that verse, my heart fills the same way it does in my sessions when my couples begin to look at each other with new eyes and excitement for the future.