“Why Do I Keep Attracting the Same Kind of Relationship?” (And How Therapy Can Help Break the Cycle)

You find yourself thinking: “Why does this always happen to me?”

You thought this relationship would be different – but here you are again, stuck in familiar patterns. You’re over-functioning, walking on eggshells, or losing yourself trying to make it work. Deep down, you know this dynamic isn’t healthy. But it also feels… familiar. Comfortably uncomfortable.

And you’re tired. Tired of giving more than you receive. Tired of repeating the same arguments. Tired of feeling not quite “enough.”

You are so not alone in this.

These cycles don’t happen because you’re broken. They happen because your nervous system learned a long time ago how to survive – and sometimes survival looks like people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, or chasing after love that feels just out of reach.

If you’ve ever thought, “I know this isn’t working, but I don’t know how to stop it,” that makes so much sense. The blueprint for how we show up in relationships often begins in childhood. If safety in your early relationships came with conditions—like being “easy,” invisible, or overly helpful—then it’s no surprise you carry those strategies into adulthood.

The good news? These patterns can change. Truly.

Through therapy, you can begin to untangle your past from your present. You can start to recognize your triggers, honor your needs, and set boundaries without guilt. You can explore what healthy love actually looks and feels like—and start building relationships that reflect the version of you that’s finally healing, not just surviving.

If this sounds like your story, I’d love to support you.

Together, we’ll work gently and collaboratively to help you feel more secure, empowered, and grounded in your relationships. You deserve to feel chosen, supported, and understood—not just by others, but by yourself.

Reach out today to schedule an appointment. Let’s start the process of healing the roots so you can grow something new.

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