Finding Yourself in Your 20s

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finding yourself in your 20s

There’s an entire industry centered around finding yourself. From life coaches to yoga, from movies like Eat Pray Love to Little Miss Sunshine, so much of what we do and the messages we consume involve finding ourselves. But what does that actually mean? Are we really lost in the first place? And how do we know when we’ve found ourselves?

For today’s 20-somethings, the pressure to find themselves has never been higher. Your 20s are often painted as the best years of your life. Society tells you this is the time for freedom, adventure, and discovering who you truly are. However, it can also be a period filled with confusion, uncertainty, and pressure to have everything figured out. You might find yourself questioning your career choices, relationships, and even your identity. This is a normal part of the journey, and embracing this time of self-discovery can be incredibly rewarding.

While we can’t give you a treasure map where X marks the spot where you’ll find yourself, consider this as something of a road map. Not a GPS, but an old-fashioned map that helps you find the little detours, roadside attractions, and all the bumps along the way. Ready? Let’s go!

Why You Might Feel Lost in Your 20s

In your 20s, you’re transitioning from adolescence to adulthood, which can be a challenging process. The safety net of school and parental guidance starts to fade, and suddenly, you’re expected to make significant life decisions on your own. This can be overwhelming and lead to feelings of inadequacy or imposter syndrome.

Societal expectations add another layer of stress. There’s pressure to land a great job, find a partner, and establish a stable life, often by the age of 30. When reality doesn’t match these expectations, it can lead to self-doubt and anxiety. You might feel like you’re falling behind or failing to meet milestones that others seem to achieve effortlessly. It can be hard to avoid comparing yourself to others or recognizing your journey for what it is: yours.

Your 20s are also a time for exploring and understanding your identity. You may question previously held beliefs, values, and goals. This period of self-reflection is essential for growth but can be disorienting as you redefine who you are and what you want out of life.

Navigating Your 20s

Your 20s might be a bumpy road (everybody’s are, really), but you don’t have to feel lost. With the right mindset and strategies, you can make this decade a period of significant growth and self-discovery.

Embrace Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a natural part of life, especially in your 20s. Instead of fearing the unknown, try to embrace it. Understand that it’s okay not to have all the answers right now. Life is a journey, and it’s through experiences and challenges that you learn and grow. Give yourself permission to explore different paths and make mistakes along the way.

Set Realistic Goals

Setting realistic and achievable goals can provide direction and a sense of purpose. Break down your long-term aspirations into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This approach makes big goals feel more attainable and boosts your confidence as you achieve each milestone.

Cultivate Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is key to understanding your desires, strengths, and areas for improvement. Spend time reflecting on your experiences and how they shape you. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this. By regularly writing about your thoughts and feelings, you can gain insights into your motivations and patterns, helping you make more informed decisions.

Build a Support System

Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, and mentors. These people can provide guidance, encouragement, and a listening ear when you need it. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help or advice. Building a strong support system can make a significant difference in how you navigate the ups and downs of your 20s.

Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health is essential. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s doing a beloved hobby, meditating, reading, or spending time in nature, self-care can help reduce stress and improve your overall well-being. Remember, you can’t drive on an empty tank, so taking care of yourself is crucial for being able to face challenges head-on.

Be Open to New Experiences

Your 20s are the perfect time to take the road less traveled. Explore a little! Be open to trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone. Travel, take up new hobbies, meet new people, and immerse yourself in different cultures. These experiences can broaden your perspective, help you discover new passions, and drive personal growth.

Learn to Manage Finances

Financial stability is a common concern in your 20s (and beyond). Take the time to educate yourself about budgeting, saving, and investing. Establish good financial habits early on, such as tracking your expenses and setting aside savings. Financial literacy can reduce stress and give you a sense of control over your future.

Accept That It’s Okay to Change Your Mind

You might start your 20s with a clear plan, but it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to change your mind. As you grow and learn more about yourself, your goals and desires might shift. Your relationships will change; some may end. Embrace these changes as part of your journey rather than seeing them as setbacks. Flexibility and adaptability are valuable traits that will serve you well throughout life.

Adventures on the Road Ahead: Embracing Self-Discovery and Exploration

Your 20s are a unique opportunity for self-discovery and exploration. Rather than viewing this time as a period of confusion, see it as a chance to learn more about yourself and what you want from life.

Discover Your Passions

Take the time to discover what truly excites and motivates you. This might involve exploring different career paths, hobbies, or volunteer opportunities. Pursuing your passions can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Develop Your Personal Values

As you experience different events, you’ll develop a clearer understanding of your personal values. These values will guide your decisions and help you build a life that aligns with your true self. Reflect on what matters most to you, whether it’s family, creativity, community, or something else entirely.

Build Resilience

The challenges you face in your 20s will build resilience and character. Each setback is an opportunity to learn and grow stronger. Embrace these challenges and trust in your ability to overcome them. Resilience will serve you well throughout your life, helping you navigate future obstacles with confidence.

Embrace Independence

This decade is a time to build independence and self-reliance. Learn to trust your instincts and make decisions that are right for you. Independence doesn’t mean doing everything alone; it means being confident in your ability to take charge of your own life.

The Journey Never Ends

Finding yourself in your 20s can be a challenging yet rewarding journey. You may never really feel like you’ve found yourself, and that’s ok– because humans are a journey, not a destination. Our lives are an always-turning kaleidoscope of people, experiences, and emotions. The best tip for finding yourself? Don’t stop looking.

If you find yourself struggling with this process, seeking professional help can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can provide you with tools and strategies to navigate this period of self-discovery and help you manage the pressures and uncertainties that come with it. If you’re ready to take the next step in your journey, consider scheduling an appointment with a therapist at Love Heal Grow. Think of us as your pit crew along the winding road of self-discovery!

 

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Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST Founder (she/her)

Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST Founder (she/her)

CEO & Founder | 450 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Relationship Trauma, Emotional & Physical Intimacy, Executives & Creatives
Madison Hamzy, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Madison Hamzy, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist & Assistant Director | 250 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Intimate Connection & Less Stress, Men with ED or ADHD, People who get stuck in their heads and worry a lot
Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)

Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, More Pleasurable Sex, Men learning to express feelings, CNM & Kink, Queer & Trans
Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Abuse & Betrayal, Queer & Trans Identity, People who care deeply and are told they are "too much"
Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 250 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Grief & Loss, Childhood Emotional Neglect, Family Therapy for Parents & Adult Children
Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 270 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Infidelity, Discernment & Divorce, Workplace Stress & Pressure
Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 240 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Anxiety & OCD, Menopausal and post-menopausal women wanting more pleasure in sex, Women who feel invisible
Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, High-Achievers & Type-A Personalities, Intimacy & Connection, Low Self Esteem, Trauma & Anxiety
Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Parenting Couples, Cycle-breaking Moms, Deep Thinkers & Deep Feelers
Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Stress & Burnout, LGBTQ+, People who judge themselves a lot
Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

IFS Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimacy, LGBTQ+, Folks wanting to go deep in their trauma work
Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Anxiety & Stress, Frustration & Anger, Queer & Trans, Neurodivergence, People who feel like they don't fit in
Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Emotional & Physical Connection, Stress & Burnout in Highly Productive People, Existential Angst & Life Meaning
Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Burnout & Pressure to be Successful, Immigrants & First Gen, Current & Former Athletes, People who Avoid Conflict
Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

Sex Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, QTBIPOC, More Pleasure in Sex, CNM & Kink Affirming, People worried about their porn-use & sexual behaviors
Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

Trauma Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Survivors of Trauma: Sexual Assault & Relationship Abuse; People who have been hurt by loved ones; People who question themselves a lot
Samaria Parada, AMFT (she/ella)

Samaria Parada, AMFT (she/ella)

Bilingual Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Connection, Family & Cultural Stress & Trauma, BIPOC & First Gen
Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimacy, Betrayal & Infidelity, Couples with age gaps, Creatives & Sensitive People
Ella Sword, AMFT (she/her)

Ella Sword, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Connection, Parenting, Anxiety & Depression
Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

Trauma Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Trauma - Relationship Abuse, Violence, and Sexual Assault, Love after Trauma
Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimate Connection, Anxiety-Depression-Anger, LGBTQ+, Religious Trauma & Grief
Ashlene Kaur Sandhu (she/her)

Ashlene Kaur Sandhu (she/her)

Therapist | Sliding Scale (100-140 per session) | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Connection & Intimacy, Perfectionism & Low Self-Esteem, Cultural Pressure & Relationship with Parents
Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)

Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)

Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Intimacy & Connection, Parents, Healing from Trauma & Anxiety
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