It’s the month of February – it’s raining pink hearts, red roses, and chocolates everywhere you turn! February is known as the month of love, and many people are making extra efforts to express their love for their partners and friends with dinner dates, cards, and beautifully wrapped tokens of affection. February highlights the relationships in our lives and extra attempts we make to show our appreciation for them. But, often the sugary cloud of romance often fails to sprinkle its affection over the most important relationship of all – your relationship with yourself!

February isn’t the only month to focus on your love of yourself, but the explosion of hearts can serve as a nice reminder to date yourself from time to time. It’s easy to give our loved ones compliments, gestures of thoughtfulness, set aside time to spend time with them, and give them gifts. It can be easy to set ourselves aside while we focus on everybody else. You’ve probably heard the saying; you can’t pour from an empty cup. In case you’re wondering why you should date yourself, here are a few reasons:

  • It acknowledges what you value about yourself
  • It exercises creativity, independence, and confidence
  • It creates feelings of relaxation, excitement, intrigue, or appreciation
  • It can create much needed “me time”
  • It creates time to contemplate on your own needs, desires, and goals
  • It reminds you of what others may also appreciate, love, and respect about you


Date yourself like you would date your partner or friend – set aside a day and time for it – put it on the calendar! Maybe you have 30 minutes, maybe you have 6 hours. Fill that time with compliments and words of kindness, support, and affection. Bring these compliments to life – speak them into the universe, write them on post-it notes and pepper them around your home where you can enjoy them, or write yourself a good ol’ fashioned letter about what you value about yourself. Spend your time with the intention of experiencing joy – wear something you feel confident and comfortable in, go for a hike, work on a piece of art, go to your favorite restaurant, or to a movie. You can even put on some comfy pajamas, light a candle or two, and cuddle up with a favorite book for a day/night-in. Maybe you want to bake your favorite dessert, or visit an art museum, or sip through a beer garden. If money is tight, brainstorm some ways to work with what you already have and make the most of it.

If you find yourself thinking, I don’t have time to do this – I’ve got way too much on my plate, I don’t deserve to spend my own time on me, or, I can’t think of what I like about myself, it may be time to seek some support to create more balance and self-compassion in your life. Let me know if I can help.

Hi, I’m Veronica Perez-Thayer, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.

I help hurting couples find a way through their differences to a place of love and togetherness.

You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Veronica

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