I’ve been considering my personal interests and hobbies more thoughtfully lately. With so little time to consider what my interests are and why I do them, I find myself going through the motions without recognizing what about my interests brings me joy and fills my bucket. When “self-care” starts to feel like a burden it’s time to re-evaluate. I’ve “enjoyed” running on and off for most of my adult life. Notice, I put quotes around the word “enjoyed” as I would describe having an at times murky and conflicted relationship with running. There are many, many times that I don’t like running, and don’t want to do it. It’s tiring, it’s hard, it hurts sometimes. Earlier in my relationship with running, I would place expectations on myself (“I’m going to run two miles today without stopping to walk”), and then feel so disappointed when I didn’t meet my self-imposed expectation.
Yet…flash forward many years later and running and I are still friends. Pretty close friends I would even say. The kind of friends that can go through hard things and be able to return to one another with acceptance and understanding. It surely wasn’t always like this, but I think our relationship has grown through time. In considering why I run, and keep running despite the murky and conflicted relationship, is that I’ve grown to enjoy the nuances of running. I no longer care so much how far I run, how fast I run or how my body changes (or rather doesn’t change) with running. I now enjoy– the time running affords me to be with my own thoughts, slow my life down (funny to think that running allows me to slow down!), to join with other runners when I want to, and to feel all the difficulties that go along with it. I think it’s also taught me so much about relationships. Relationships aren’t black and white. They can feel murky and conflicted at times. We can have struggles, and challenges and parts of relationships that feel so hard- yet generally we find that they’re worth it. We don’t have to be perfect in relationships, and there is security in knowing that we can go through hard times in relationships and still find great benefit and security in them. Running and relationships are like this for me.
Sometimes taking time to slow down and consider not only the relationships we have with people in our lives, but to consider the relationships we have with practices and interests in our lives is important to ensure we are spending our time and engaging with the world in a way that feels authentic and–not always easy–but fulfilling.
What are your interests and how do they serve you? If you’re struggling with finding what fills you, shapes your identity and brings you joy- I’m happy to help. If you find yourself in a new phase of life that has left you feeling like you’re just getting to know yourself or want to know yourself better- let’s explore- I’m happy to help. Also, if you feel like your main focus has been on achieving and pleasing others, and you want to re-examine your needs and purpose- I’m happy to help.
Hi, I’m Daylyn Musante, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.
You can experience more fulfillment in your life and relationships! I’m here to support you.
You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Daylyn