We’ve all had days when we know logically “I’m awesome, I’m good enough, I deserve rest and joy,” but what we feel is more like crap, worry, and mean voices having a party in our heads.
I’ve heard great pep talks. I still remember my elementary counselor coming to our class to talk about self-esteem (she brought dolphin puppets!).
My great grandmother used twinkies, her favorite treat, to let me know I was magical. And I deeply believe we all deserve goodness!
There are so many wonderful things about being alive, and we all have our own unique lists.
Then why is it so hard to feel good some days(or, ahem, weeks!)?
Sometimes we even feel worse when we know we are worth feeling better, when we know the negative thoughts are only making us more irritable, less productive, and more in our heads instead of connected to loved ones.
It’s completely normal to have a hard days and thoughts. In fact, feeling hard things means we’re paying attention. Noticing we don’t like how things are gives us a chance to figure out what we need and want and make necessary changes.
Okay, but what about feeling like crap today?!
5 Tips for Crappy Days
- Let yourself have the hard feelings. When we automatically tell ourselves we can’t have a feeling, then we have to deal with the hard feeling and the battle to stop the feelings. Set your watch to 5 or 15 minutes and just let yourself be before you expect a change or solution. Feel the feeling.
- Go back to the basics of nurturing yourself. Have a glass of water. Sit by a window and get some natural light. Have you eaten recently? Get a snack! Can you rest? We can’t all nap (but if you can GET THAT NAP!). If you can’t rest more can you drop your shoulders or let go of some tension in your body?
- Notice little things that help you feel a little bit better and do one. Really really tiny things. Why tiny things? Because they’re do able. I love massages! But I can’t get one every time I want one. I can, however, stretch up to the sky, or rub some lotion into my hands while I notice the smell of the lotion. Some other little things might be: Watching a bird or cloud out the window, listening to a song or sound you like, taking an extra moment in the shower to appreciate the water and how it feels falling on your skin, savoring the flavor of your next meal, looking at some gorgeous art.
- Connect with someone or a fur buddy. You could call a friend and ask them to listen, talk up your neighbors out on a walk, go to a park or library and just be around others in a place without social expectations, or take your dog for a walk and let yourself get really into a game of fetch or a good snuggle.
- Ask for help. This can come in all different forms- Do you ask a family member or friend for company? Do you have food delivered? Do you accept an offer of support, or delegate a task instead of doing it yourself? Do you turn down the next “optional” project, or ask a coworker for help? You can also call us at LoveHealGrow and let us join your support team! If the crappy days are becoming too frequent, you want more insight and tools, or you want to expand your support community, we’d love to hear from you!
Hi, I’m Rachel Cloud, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.
You can experience more fulfillment in your life and relationships! I’m here to support you.
You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Rachel