Why was I with someone so wrong for me?
Am I ready to get back into the dating scene?
What exactly am I looking for…what if I get rejected?
I don’t want to go through another failed relationship – I feel like I’ve wasted time.
I forgot who I was and now I have to figure me out all over again…
The end of a relationship is kind of like a Sacramento morning in April – the chill leaves you feeling exposed, but the comfort of a warm afternoon hopefully lies ahead. A breakup can leave you wading through a sticky mix of emotions: relief, anger, insecurity, loneliness, sadness, uncertainty, and excitement.
Where do I go from here?
Eventually you’ll feel a familiar tug – that natural human pull to connect romantically, emotionally, or physically with another person.
Our need to create and be in relationships with others is healthy and normal – don’t let the guilt or shame of an ended relationship deny you the opportunity to try again. But, the how-to part can sometimes feel a little overwhelming.
When your relationship has ended and you eventually find yourself ready to try again, it might be helpful to consider the following:
- What did I learn about myself after this last breakup?
- What do I love about myself, that I need my next partner to value?
- What would make me feel comfortable as I begin meeting new people?
- What about my past relationships do I not want repeated?
- What values or traits do I want my next partner have?
- What are my “deal breakers”?
- Who in my circle can I talk with about these things?
- Could I use the help of a therapist to sort through things?
Moving on can actually be a positive experience!
A fresh understanding of who you are and the joy you deserve in relationships is totally possible with some reflection and contemplation.
Let me know if I can help as you grow out of your last relationship and into your future!
Hi, I’m Veronica Perez-Thayer, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.
I help hurting couples find a way through their differences to a place of love and togetherness.
You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Veronica