Moving On After a Breakup or Divorce

by

Why was I with someone so wrong for me?


Am I ready to get back into
the dating scene?


What exactly am I looking for…what if I get rejected?


I don’t want to go through another failed relationship – I feel like I’ve wasted time.


I forgot who I was and now I
have to figure me out all over again…

 

The end of a relationship is kind of like a Sacramento morning in April – the chill leaves you feeling exposed, but the comfort of a warm afternoon hopefully lies ahead. A breakup can leave you wading through a sticky mix of emotions: relief, anger, insecurity, loneliness, sadness, uncertainty, and excitement.

 

Where do I go from here?

 

Eventually you’ll feel a familiar tug – that natural human pull to connect romantically, emotionally, or physically with another person.

Our need to create and be in relationships with others is healthy and normal – don’t let the guilt or shame of an ended relationship deny you the opportunity to try again. But, the how-to part can sometimes feel a little overwhelming.

When your relationship has ended and you eventually find yourself ready to try again, it might be helpful to consider the following:

 

  • What did I learn about myself after this last breakup?
  • What do I love about myself, that I need my next partner to value?
  • What would make me feel comfortable as I begin meeting new people?
  • What about my past relationships do I not want repeated?
  • What values or traits do I want my next partner have?
  • What are my “deal breakers”?
  • Who in my circle can I talk with about these things?
  • Could I use the help of a therapist to sort through things?

Moving on can actually be a positive experience!

 

A fresh understanding of who you are and the joy you deserve in relationships is totally possible with some reflection and contemplation.

 

Let me know if I can help as you grow out of your last relationship and into your future!

Hi, I’m Veronica Perez-Thayer, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.

I help hurting couples find a way through their differences to a place of love and togetherness.

You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Veronica

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Madison Hamzy, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

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Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

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Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

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Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

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Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

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Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

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Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

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Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

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Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

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Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

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Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

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Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

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Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

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Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

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Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

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Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

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Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

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