Is it really “sex addiction”?

by

When a potential client reaches out to us with the common question “Do you treat sex addiction?”  Part of me wants to say, “Well…it’s complicated.”

Why? Because there isn’t an actual diagnosis for sex addiction and as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I don’t buy into addiction model of treatment for sexual behavior as an “addiction”.

At Love Heal Grow, we work from a sexual wellness model.  The fields of psychology and medicine have a long history of framing normal sexual behavior and identity as stigmatizing pathology.  We are sensitive to this history and the fact is that there isn’t clear evidence, agreed upon symptoms, or treatment expectations for “sex addiction” that take into account the normal human spectrum of sexuality–well, we don’t want to be part of a movement that we believe stigmatizes sexuality.

We also aren’t sticking our heads in the sand to the realities that there are people and families suffering when a partner has serial affairs, when an individual relies on sex as their only way to reduce stress and this causes problems in their life and relationship, when someone is confused as to how they can continuously act impulsively when it comes to sex, when someone experiences intrusive reliance on pornography or fantasy.

These are real issues that we help people with in sex therapy.  Here’s what you need to know about how we can help when you are experiencing what we refer to as “out of control sexual behavior”:

-We listen to you without judgment and as long as your sexual experiences are consensual and non-abusive, we affirm your needs & wants when it comes to sexuality.  We help you identify if there are any areas of your sex life that YOU identify as problematic.  What would help you feel more healthy when it comes to your sexuality?  What do you want for your sex life?

-We help you identify what leads you to act impulsively when it comes to sex if you are experiencing this.  Oftentimes when we act impulsively we are trying to manage negative emotions or thoughts that are uncomfortable and looking for a distraction or instant relief.  If the impulsive act ends in a negative consequence that is harder to deal with than managing the initial feelings we were trying to cope with–ti may be helpful to look at this and explore other ways to cope.

-We believe in honesty and transparency in relationships.  If you would like to be non-monogamous, we will help you communicate about this to your partner.  Your partner may or may not be open to this–this will have to be worked out together.

-We help you treat yourself and others with respect when it comes to sexual experiences–respect for yourself and others leads to more fulfilling sexual experiences.

-We help you learn communication skills, set boundaries and find rewarding coping skills to give you more fulfillment in your sex life.

-We will not shame you, label you, or refer you to a 12-step model of sexual addiction treatment.

Hi! I'm Megan Negendank, founder and executive director of Love Heal Grow Counseling.

I help hurting, worried couples & individuals heal from pain and create thriving lives & relationships. 

You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Megan

Love Heal Grow Therapists
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Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST Founder (she/her)

Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST Founder (she/her)

CEO & Founder | 450 per session | Not accepting clients
Madison Hamzy, LMFT (she/her)

Madison Hamzy, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist & Assistant Director | 250 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Intimate Connection & Less Stress, Men with ED or ADHD, People who get stuck in their heads and worry a lot
Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)

Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)

Therapist & Assistant Director | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, More Pleasurable Sex, Learning to express feelings, CNM & Kink, QTBIPOC, Couples with differing sexual desires | Waitlist Only
Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 220 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Abuse & Betrayal, Queer & Trans Identity, People who care deeply and are told they are "too much" | Waitlist Only
Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 250 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Grief & Loss, Childhood Emotional Neglect, Family Therapy for Parents & Adult Children
Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist | Relationship & Sex Therapy | Not accepting clients
Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 240 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Anxiety & OCD, Menopausal and post-menopausal women wanting more pleasure in sex, Women who feel invisible
Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

Assistant Director | Relationship & Sex Therapy | Not accepting clients
Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Clinical Educator | Relationship & Sex Therapy | Not Accepting Clients
Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Stress & Burnout, LGBTQ+, People who judge themselves a lot
Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

IFS Therapist | 225 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimacy, Healing from Betrayal & Trauma, LGBTQ+
Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Queer & Trans, Neurodivergent Relationship Challenges, People who feel like they don't fit in
Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Emotional & Physical Connection, Parenting Couples, Moms & Postpartum, Stress Management
Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Burnout & Pressure to be Successful, Immigrants & First Gen, Current & Former Athletes, People who Avoid Conflict
Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

Sex Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, QTBIPOC, More Pleasure in Sex, CNM & Kink Affirming, People worried about their porn-use & sexual behaviors
Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

Trauma Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Survivors of Trauma: Sexual Assault & Relationship Abuse; People who have been hurt by loved ones; People who question themselves a lot
Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimacy, Somatic Therapy for Anxiety & Trauma, Healing from Breakups, Creatives & Sensitive People
Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

Trauma Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Trauma - Relationship Abuse, Violence, and Sexual Assault, Love after Trauma
Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimate Connection, Anxiety-Depression-Anger, LGBTQ+, Religious Trauma & Grief | Waitlist Only
Ashlene Kaur (she/her)

Ashlene Kaur (she/her)

Therapist | Not accepting clients
Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)

Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)

Therapist | 240 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Disconnected & Bickering Couples, Depleted & Exhausted Working Moms, Low Self Esteem, Trauma & Anxiety
Justine Marine, AMFT (she/her)

Justine Marine, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Emotional & Physical Connection, Parenting, Trauma | Evenings & Weekends available
Jamie Silva, AMFT (she/her)

Jamie Silva, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Childhood and Adult Relationship Attachment Wounds, Emotional & Physical Connection | Evening & Weekends available
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