Spice Things Up in Your Relationship 10 Intimacy Building Activities

It’s the first of the month and as you’re sifting through your bills and planning out the goings-on for the next month, you find yourself reflecting back on last month. 


Well, that was kind of hamster wheel


Life feels like an assembly line of tasks, obligations, and deadlines. When you’re through with the day quality time with your better half consists of you zoning out on the couch in front of a Cobra Kai episode and scrolling Instagram while they play Clash Royal on their phone. 


Intimacy? Affection? What are those? Man, if our relationship was a pizza, we’d be a cheese pizza – no extras on this pie! 


(By the way, no offense to those of you who love cheese pizza!)


You’d describe your relationship as solid, you’ve been together for years and you’re each other’s solid rocks in the middle of life’s stormy seas. 


But life’s routine has crept in, and the spark has fizzled. If a friend were to ask you how you’d describe your relationship, words like romantic, spicy, or exciting wouldn’t exactly come to mind. 


It may be time for you and your partner to put some peppers, mushrooms, olives, onion and pineapple (yes, I said it) on that cheese pizza! 


I’ve got ten tasty activities to share with you, so your pizza tastes more like intimacy and not cardboard. Bon Appetit!


  1. Give each other a hand or foot massage. Make it extra special by using a fantastic massage oil or lotion. Crank up the romance with some candles and music.
  2. Draw or paint a picture of each other. Don’t worry about it looking like a work by DaVinci – it’ll probably look more like a Picasso. Enjoy being playful with each other and having your partner’s eyes and attention on only you.
  3. Cook a meal or bake a dessert with each other. Spice it up by each of you wearing your partner’s favorite outfit for you. Or you could go minimal with some aprons and not much else.
  4. Make a music playlist for each other that represents either your partner or your relationship. Then go on a drive together and enjoy as you take in some lovely scenery.
  5. Write a detailed memory of your first date and read it to your partner. Have them do the same.
  6. Leave flirty messages or compliments on sticky notes for your partner to find by surprise.
  7. Buy body paints, lay down a sheet, and use each other’s bodies for canvases. If you’re not interested in drawing, you can write messages and have your partner guess what they say.
  8. Plan surprise dates for each other based on the other’s tastes and interests.
  9. Take a (literal) trip down memory lane with your partner – drive them by places that were important to you as a child or teen and share stories about your younger version.
  10. Go to a sex shop together and each pick a purchase (if you like your pizza spicy.)

Hi, I’m Veronica Perez-Thayer, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.

I help hurting couples find a way through their differences to a place of love and togetherness.

You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Veronica

Love Heal Grow Relationship Therapy Center Sacramento

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