When couples first start sex therapy, they are usually feeling nervous and afraid that things just can’t get better.
The good news is that usually within the first session, we are able to drill down to heart of the matter pretty quickly and identify changes that can vastly improve their sex lives.
How can we do this so quickly?
Because there are five areas that we focus on when we’re getting to know our clients. Once we have a picture of what could be impacting these five different areas, we know where to start to help our clients create the sex life they want.
What are the five areas?
-Painful past experiences
-Anxiety around sex and intimacy
Of course, it does take some time to make the changes to see the improvements we want, but with a clear map and a commitment to working on things, our couples get to a much happier place.
The 5 Ways To Improve Your Sex Life
Build communication and empathy in your relationship.
Unresolved conflict, disconnection or resentment in your relationship can kill your sex life. Therapy can help couples learn better ways to communicate and increase empathy and connection. We all can fall in to misunderstandings and hurt feelings; we need to find ways to communicate and understand our partner to make things better.
Get help for health problems.
If you are experiencing pain during sex or a sudden change in libido, check things out with your doctor to see if there are any underlying health concerns. Your sex therapist can support you in finding ways to cope with your physical health concerns (along with appropriate medical treatment by your doctor). If your mental health is a concern, your sex therapist can help you find ways to get to a better place.
Find healing from past experiences.
We all have negative experiences related to sex. Whether it’s awkward talks about the bird and the bees with our parents, arguments about sex with our partner, or a traumatic experience like sexual assault, we may need support from a therapist to talk through the impact of these painful experiences. You deserve a supportive place to heal and feel better about yourself and we are here to support you.
Decrease stress and distraction.
Life is busy and there are hundreds of things on our to-do list that build stress in our lives and push sex down the priority list. Your sex therapist can help you find ways to cope with stress and be more present with our partners. Learn to enjoy sex as a stress-reliever instead of another chore on the list.
Learn to feel more confident and calm when it comes to sex.
Sex can be so awkward, huh? It’s not your fault! We’re not given very good sex education, we get tons of mixed messages about sex growing up, and it can feel uncomfortable talking about things with our partners. We can experience performance anxiety, feelings of wanting to avoid it all together, frustration at ourselves or our partner, and a longing for it to be better—but just not sure how to do so. Your sex therapist is skilled at providing you with education, tools and support so that you can feel more calm and confident when it comes to sex.