It’s 7:30pm by the time you walk through the front door.
You try to stuff the day’s work meetings, project deadlines, and conference calls to the back of your mind so you can make room to mentally zip through your home to-do list.
It’s Friday night but no Netflix and pajamas for you – you’ve got to make dinner, walk the dogs, wash the laundry, and bake a dessert for tomorrow’s all-day family function.
Sunday will be spent working overtime to meet the deadline of your boss’s latest demands, and, your partner asked you to take care of the grocery shopping, the oil change, and help paint the home office.
Your head is spinning, your body is exhausted, and you’re feeling spread so thin you might unravel any moment.
But you keep trucking because that’s what you do – you grit your teeth and get it done and move on to the next task.
You’re feeling resentful everyone takes a piece of you and you’re often left with nothing for yourself.
You think often about telling people no, and taking an evening or weekend to lay on the couch, order a pizza, and zone out. But, it just hasn’t happened. I get it – it feels good to be dependable, the go-to person, the shoulder to cry on, the volunteer, the “I can do it” person.
People trust you, can count on you, and appreciate how helpful and hardworking you are.
That’s a lot to be proud of! But it’s okay to say yes to yourself sometimes, even if that means having to tell others no.
Nervous about saying no? Don’t worry, I got you covered!
Boundaries are the antidote to burnout and resentment, and below are some tips to help you develop yours:
1. Make rest and enjoyment one of the priorities you make room for on your weekly or even daily calendar. Make an entry on your paper or digital calendar(s) as an act of intention.
2. Create a detailed self-care list to refer to for your periods of rest or enjoyment. Keep a copy handy in several easy-to-see places. Include activities/actions to support your mental, emotional, social, creative, and physical well-being.
3. Figure out how much time you dedicate to work, social, and family obligations before feeling overwhelmed or exhausted, and respect that boundary by not committing to more than is good for you.
4. Release the expectation that you’re responsible for everything getting done – ask others for help! You may be surprised at how many people in your circle would love to repay the favor.
5. Work regularly with a therapist to help setting boundaries become a comfortable and beneficial practice for you. It’s hard to shift old habits, and support and encouragement in therapy can help you feel more confident with the process.
I’d love to work with you at Love Heal Grow Counseling – schedule your first session today!
Hi, I'm Veronica Perez-Thayer, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.
I help hurting couples find a way through their differences to a place of love and togetherness.
You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Veronica