How to Heal After a Bad Therapy Experience

by

How to Heal After a Bad Therapy Experience

Therapy can be an incredible resource for anyone looking to grow and get more out of their lives. But, just like any other resource, there are many different types of approaches to therapy, and not everyone will benefit from all of them. In other words, some people may benefit from a certain kind of therapist while others may not.

When we have therapy with a professional who is not a good fit for our particular needs, it may result in a negative therapy experience that can be hard to heal from. When we feel unseen or misunderstood in therapy, the sessions can actually do more harm than good. So, how can we heal from these bad experiences and find a better solution for our lives? This is exactly what we’re going to talk about today!

Why Does a Bad Therapy Experience Leave a Lasting Impression?

First, before getting into how to heal from a negative therapy experience, let’s explore what makes a bad therapy experience so detrimental.

Okay, any therapy experience is likely to leave a lasting and incredibly impactful impression in our lives. This is because therapy is a very unique experience where we open ourselves up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable with someone else. When that therapy experience is negative, it can lead to feelings of betrayal, distrust, and anger.

This is not surprising. After all, the point of therapy sessions is to be vulnerable and seek growth and improvement in your life. If you do this and open up to your therapist but ultimately feel uncomfortable or unsafe in your session (or in your relationships outside of therapy because of something you did in therapy), you may feel betrayed. You may feel hesitant (or adamantly against the idea of) starting therapy again — even in a different office with a different therapist.

The truth is that we rarely allow ourselves to be as vulnerable as we do in a therapy session. We may tell our therapists secrets we’ve never told anyone before. We may talk to them about our struggles and insecurities. When a therapy experience is bad, it can be easy to associate those negative feelings or consequences with opening up. This can make healing from experience challenging because you may associate the techniques or skills you learned for healing with these feelings as well. But, if you want to overcome these feelings, there are a few things you can do — which we’ll get into below.

Tips for Overcoming a Negative Therapy Experience

So, you’ve had a bad experience in therapy. Maybe you felt that your therapist did not understand the issues you were going through. Perhaps they made you feel unseen or invalid because of a particular belief you have or an aspect you identify with.

No matter what caused your negative feelings towards therapy, there are ways to overcome them and find a good fit for your needs. So, without further ado, here are some tips to help you overcome and heal from a negative therapy experience.

Locate the Issue

The first thing that you will want to do after a bad therapy experience is to determine where the issue is. In other words, what went wrong in your last therapy experience? Was your therapist not a good fit for you? Did they not empathize with your struggles? Was the therapeutic approach something you were not comfortable with? Did you simply not feel comfortable speaking with the therapist?

Figuring out what went wrong can be one of the best ways to help you discover what to pursue in your future therapy experiences.

Determine Your Current Needs

Once you’ve discovered the issue with your previous therapy experience, you can begin focusing on what you need now. Do you need a therapist who has more shared life experiences with you so that you feel understood and seen? Are you trying to work towards a specific goal, or are you looking for more general support? Are you looking for a particular type of therapy — including less traditional forms, like art therapy?

Take some time to reflect on what you have learned from your previous experiences with therapy and use that information to help inform your decisions about what you are looking for now.

Talk About It

Your previous experiences with therapy do not have to be a secret you can never discuss. In fact, a good therapist will want to hear about your previous experiences — both positive and negative. This knowledge can help them not only better understand you but also help them better support you in your journey of self-care and improvement in your life.

Trust Yourself

People have pretty good instincts. As advanced as we are as a species, we are still animals, and our instincts are developed and cultivated over years of life to help us survive and stay safe. If you do not feel comfortable in a therapy session, trust those instincts. That therapist or clinic may not be the right fit for you. No two people are the same, and no two therapy experiences are the same.

In order to get the most out of your therapy experiences, you need to find the right fit for you.

Find the Right Therapist for You

As mentioned above, not everyone will get along with the same therapists. We are all unique, and the support we need can vary dramatically depending on our life experiences, age, and many other factors. It is crucial to recognize that not all therapists are going to be a good fit for you. That is completely normal, and there is nothing wrong with “shopping around” to find a therapist that offers the type of support you need.

If you are looking for a new therapist, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at Love Heal Grow to schedule an appointment with one of our therapists.

 

Love Heal Grow Therapists
Filter & Find Your Match

Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST Founder (she/her)

Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST Founder (she/her)

CEO & Founder | 450 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Relationship Trauma, Emotional & Physical Intimacy, Executives & Creatives
Madison Hamzy, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Madison Hamzy, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist & Assistant Director | 250 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Intimate Connection & Less Stress, Men with ED or ADHD, People who get stuck in their heads and worry a lot
Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)

Natalie Delfin, LCSW (she/they)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, More Pleasurable Sex, Men learning to express feelings, CNM & Kink, Queer & Trans
Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

Rachel Cloud, LCSW (she/her)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Abuse & Betrayal, Queer & Trans Identity, People who care deeply and are told they are "too much"
Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

Ann Marie McKnight, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 250 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Grief & Loss, Childhood Emotional Neglect, Family Therapy for Parents & Adult Children
Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

Jessie Regan, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist & Clinical Supervisor | 270 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Infidelity, Discernment & Divorce, Workplace Stress & Pressure
Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Linda Rolufs, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 240 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Anxiety & OCD, Menopausal and post-menopausal women wanting more pleasure in sex, Women who feel invisible
Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

Ashley Barnes, LMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, High-Achievers & Type-A Personalities, Intimacy & Connection, Low Self Esteem, Trauma & Anxiety
Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Lindsay Glass, LMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Parenting Couples, Cycle-breaking Moms, Deep Thinkers & Deep Feelers
Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

Maegan Tanner, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Stress & Burnout, LGBTQ+, People who judge themselves a lot
Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

Susan DuBay, LMFT (she/they)

IFS Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimacy, LGBTQ+, Folks wanting to go deep in their trauma work
Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Emily Alampi, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Anxiety & Stress, Frustration & Anger, Queer & Trans, Neurodivergence, People who feel like they don't fit in
Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

Charisse Brass, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Emotional & Physical Connection, Stress & Burnout in Highly Productive People, Existential Angst & Life Meaning
Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Joanna de Leon, AMFT (Online Only, she/her)

Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Burnout & Pressure to be Successful, Immigrants & First Gen, Current & Former Athletes, People who Avoid Conflict
Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

Flo Oliveira, AMFT (they/them)

Sex Therapist | 170 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, QTBIPOC, More Pleasure in Sex, CNM & Kink Affirming, People worried about their porn-use & sexual behaviors
Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

Maria Dimachkie, ACSW (she/her)

Trauma Therapist | 180 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Survivors of Trauma: Sexual Assault & Relationship Abuse; People who have been hurt by loved ones; People who question themselves a lot
Samaria Parada, AMFT (she/ella)

Samaria Parada, AMFT (she/ella)

Bilingual Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Connection, Family & Cultural Stress & Trauma, BIPOC & First Gen
Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

Madilyn Schweikert, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimacy, Betrayal & Infidelity, Couples with age gaps, Creatives & Sensitive People
Ella Sword, AMFT (she/her)

Ella Sword, AMFT (she/her)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Connection, Parenting, Anxiety & Depression
Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

Hannah Slicton-Williams, LMFT (she/her)

Trauma Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Healing from Trauma - Relationship Abuse, Violence, and Sexual Assault, Love after Trauma
Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

Abby Hollandsworth, AMFT (she/they)

Therapist | 160 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Communication & Intimate Connection, Anxiety-Depression-Anger, LGBTQ+, Religious Trauma & Grief
Ashlene Kaur Sandhu (she/her)

Ashlene Kaur Sandhu (she/her)

Therapist | Sliding Scale (100-140 per session) | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Connection & Intimacy, Perfectionism & Low Self-Esteem, Cultural Pressure & Relationship with Parents
Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)

Liza Haroldson, LCSW (she/her)

Therapist | 200 per session | Relationship & Sex Therapy, Intimacy & Connection, Parents, Healing from Trauma & Anxiety
Love Heal Grow Relationship Therapy Center Sacramento

Free Relationship Therapy Starter Pack

*How to Find a Therapist

*What to Expect in Your First Appointment

*How to Get the Most Out of Therapy

*How to talk to your boss about going to therapy during the workday

*How to seek reimbursement for therapy from your PPO plan

*Over twenty pages of relationship and life stressor tips and exercises that it would usually take 10+ therapy sessions to cover.

Check your email!