Many people may find dating after 60 intimidating because they are too caught up in trying to make it the same as when they were dating in their 20s or 30s. But, really, the best thing to realize is that dating is not meant only for younger crowds. We can date at any age, and realistically we’ve got much more experience dating in our 60s than in our 20s.
You know what you are looking for in a relationship, you have a better ability to gauge how well you and another person are getting along. You’re likely much better at communicating with others. Now that you’re not blustering and flustered trying to impress a cute person you saw across the room, you can focus on making a more meaningful connection than most people can when they are younger.
Today we’re going to dive into some common experiences people have when dating after 60, as well as some tips to help you enjoy the process and find what you are looking for.
Common Negative Experiences of 60-and-Over Dating
Like dating when you’re in your 20s, there are a few common negative experiences you may run into when rejoining the dating pool. In a way, you can think of these as common mistakes we make when dating again.
Everyone’s experience with dating is going to be different, but if you want to avoid as many of the unpleasantries of dating as possible, try to not fall into these three main pitfalls.
Starting Too Much Too Soon
You don’t have to jump head-first into dating. Sometimes it can take some time and some testing the waters to figure out what you want and where finding other people who have similar interests is for you. Maybe you’re worried about being “too old” and having “limited time” to get yourself back out there and dating.
You’re never too old; there will always be someone out there — you don’t have to rush into anything regarding dating or relationships.
Trying to Fit in Too Much
One of the best things about being more mature is knowing who you are, what you want, and your interests. Trying to change these things to fit with a younger crowd is unnecessary. Finding someone who shares your interests is so much more important than people give it credit for.
Remember, you went through years of your life to get where you are — don’t give up all of that experience and wisdom for someone else.
Not Taking Care of Yourself First
The key to a healthy and happy relationship is first having a good relationship with yourself. If you are not taking care of yourself and not visiting a doctor regularly, you may not be in the best state to bring a new relationship into your life.
Tips for Dating When You’re 60 or Older
Now, without further ado, here are a few tips to improve your dating game after 60.
Know What You Are Looking For
You’ve had relationships before in your life. You’ve learned what is important to you in a relationship and what you want out of your life. This is a leg up, honestly, when it comes to dating. You’ve already made a lot of the “mistakes” in your dating life, and now you can focus on finding the person who really embodies what you are looking for in your life.
Communicate openly and honestly with your date. Chances are, if they also know exactly what they are looking for, you’ll be able to bypass a lot of trial and error with your dating this way. If you and your date have similar interests, desires, and life plans, congratulations, you’ve hit it off well!
But, if you notice that your plans and wants do not overlap, you might want to focus your attention elsewhere. Again, being honest with yourself and your date helps you both to find what you are looking for.
Take Your Time and Have Fun
There is no rush. As we mentioned earlier, you will never be too old or run out of time to find the right person for you. Instead, take your time with dating and enjoy the process. You get to meet new people again, get those lovely little butterflies in your stomach when you have a pleasant conversation with your date for the first time, and enjoy the process of falling in love again. Just have fun with it.
Take Care of Yourself
Remember, a good relationship starts when both members are happy with themselves. You cannot truly love someone else without loving yourself first. So take the time to care for yourself while you are dating too. Make sure you are going to the doctor, eating healthy meals, exercising, and sleeping.
Take care of your body, be confident, and show others that you love yourself. Nothing is more attractive than someone who cares for themself and shows confidence.
Talk to a Therapist
If getting back out in the dating pool scares you or makes you anxious, you may want to talk to someone in a safe and non-judgmental space. A therapist can be a great resource for you if you are experiencing anxieties about dating again. Also, if you are simply not sure where to begin improving your confidence or working through the loss of your previous partner, a therapist can help.
If you want guidance on these topics or anything else, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at Love Heal Grow.